By: Natasha Marian Nasharon
I never imagined I’d come this far. As I stand at the edge of my final year as a student in
Germany, I look back and can hardly believe the journey. An internship at a German
company, four years of part-time work to stand on my own, and countless moments of
growth—it’s all beyond what I thought possible. I’ve always doubted myself, but deep down, I
knew that studying in Germany was the dream I’d hold onto from high school.
It all started with weekends spent commuting back and forth to Goethe Institut Jakarta,
dedicating hours to learning German while my friends embraced their teenage
years—celebrating sweet seventeen parties, hanging out with friends, and enjoying time with
family. For three years straight, this was my routine.
After high school, I had to apply to Studienkolleg, which meant attending a preparation
course in Jakarta, spending my weekdays there from morning till evening. But as challenging
as it was, it was nothing compared to what was waiting for me at Studienkolleg.
It was far from easy. I struggled, and there were moments when I questioned everything. I
remember breaking down, telling my dad I wanted to stay in Indonesia—I didn’t care where, I
just wanted to be home. But deep inside, I knew I couldn’t let go of that dream to live in
Germany. Years of learning German couldn’t be tossed aside, right?
I wasn’t just battling the language—I was battling my own doubts. On top of that, I felt the
weight of watching my peers move forward, already settled into university, while I was stuck
answering the same exhausting questions: “Lo kapan berangkat ke Jerman?” “Lo gap year?
Nganggur?” “Studienkolleg tuh tempat les-lesan bahasa Jerman?”
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, COVID happened. I was finally done with
Studienkolleg but I couldn’t fly to Germany for six months, and it felt like I was falling even
more behind while everyone else seemed to move forward. The isolation of online classes
made things worse. I couldn’t practice speaking, and the language became a mountain I
couldn’t climb. I understood more than I spoke, so at times, people assumed I was just an
exchange student because I stuck to English. I even asked professors to let me present in
English, just to express myself without struggling for words. The thought of going to class
made me anxious, especially since I didn’t have any Indonesian friends with the same major.
Looking back, it’s hard to believe how much has changed. The struggles, the doubts, the
moments I wanted to give up—somehow, they all led me here. Now, I’m close to finishing my
studies, surrounded by supportive Indonesian and international friends. I’ve grown in ways I
never expected—mastering my part-time job, becoming part of organizations, and pushing
past my comfort zone to do my internship entirely in German. Best believe I feel like I’m the
busiest student here haha, constantly juggling, always stretched too thin. It wasn’t easy, but I
proved to myself that I could adapt, that I could belong. Today, I stand on my own, managing
my own finances, experiencing the things I once thought were out of reach—traveling, going
to concerts, and making the most of this journey.
But even now, there are still days when I fear failure, when I imagine all the things that could
go wrong. On those days, I hold onto a quote: “God didn’t bring you this far to only bring you
this far.” And whenever insecurity creeps in—whenever I feel like I’m falling behind—I
remind myself that everyone has their own timeline.
May this also be a reminder to my fellow students in Germany—to those carrying the same
weight of doubt, silently battling their own struggles. You are not alone. You’ve already come
so far, and you will go even further. You are not behind. Your journey is unfolding at its own
pace, exactly as it’s meant to.
Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that growth doesn’t happen all at once. Dreams
don’t unfold overnight. It’s in the small, quiet steps—the days when you wanted to quit but
didn’t, the moments when doubt crept in, yet you kept going anyway. None of us got here in
a single leap; we got here one day at a time. And that is enough.